Seriously?

Professor: I have some ink cartridges that have been stacking up in my office.
Me: You can send them back to be recycled. Do you still have the boxes?
Professor: Can you do it for me?
Me: Do you have the boxes? And the labels?
Professor: Yes. If I bring them to you, can you send them back?
Me: All you need to do is put the labels on the outside of the box. UPS will pick them up when they come.
Professor: Can I bring them to you?
Me: Uhm, sure. But all you need to do is put the labels on them and stick them in the mailroom (right beside your office).
Professor: I really can’t be bothered with this. Can’t I just give them to you to take care of?
Me: Sure. But all I’m going to do is peel and stick the labels.
Professor: Great. I’ll bring them down.

--------------

Me: (on phone) Math department. How may I help you?
Dude: This is Mike from FedEx. Could you help me out with something?
Me: Sure.
Dude: John Smith.
Me:
Dude:
Me: John Smith?
Dude: Yeah.
Me: Would you like to talk to John Smith?
Dude: No.
Me: I’m sorry – what is it about John Smith that I can help you with?Dude: I’m downstairs.
Me: Do you have a package for Dr. Smith?
Dude: Yeah.
Me: You can deliver it here.
Dude: Yeah . . .
Me:
Dude:
Me: Do you need the room number?
Dude: It’s on the package.
Me: Is there anything else I can help you with?
Dude: No.
Me: Well, I guess I’ll see you in a few moments.
Dude: Yeah . . .
Me: Have a nice afternoon.
Dude: Yeah.
Me: Yeah.

Dude still hasn’t delivered the package.