Obsessed

Not a good morning. No phone. Out of contact with most everyone I care about. Feeling annoyed. A little sad. And irritated. And lonely.

Doubtful.

Feeling doubtful this morning. I could deal with the other things, flip them, use them to write or get out of the house and wander the neighborhood, but doubt . . .

Having to convince myself that the choices I’m making are the right ones, even though I’ve already convinced myself over and over again. And then one more time for good measure.

But I have this problem. Empathy and education, the ability to understand the validity of the other arguments – other than what I am arguing, other than the choices I am making, other than the life I am living – these things make me question myself. Constantly. Like I am on some mad dash to eradicate ignorance from my life. A race I know I will never finish because there will always be more to know.  

Always. 

And I will always need to know it. At least that's what my mind keeps telling me. Over and over again. And once more for good measure.