Nothing really

One would think that with so much going on in the world, what with the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the upcoming presidential race primaries, racist celebrities, and Britney Spears’ lack of savings, I’d have something to blog about each and every day. I mean, I’m fairly intelligent. I spend a good deal of my day thinking. And I can write. Not particularly well, but I get by. But I’ve found in this very short time I’ve been blogging, that regularity is not one of my attributes. Wait, that came out wrong. So did that.

See, I’ve been trying to decide what to write all day now, and all I can come up with is some inadvertent toilet humor.

And even that is a poorly worded statement. It isn't that I can't come up with anything else as much as it is that I want to write about everything and I have so much trouble choosing just one idea from the thousands of mediocre ones I have each day. The pressure usually is too much and as a result, I choose nothing. Those days you access this page and are (un)lucky enough to find something new, well I can't tell you what happens those days to get me to finally write something down. If I knew, I would make it happen more often.

So in lieu of an actual singularly-themed post (as if I have those on other days), I offer another set of outtakes:

- Halloween at the restaurant was a pain in the ass. All the young kids I work with (and by that I mean to say that I work while they wander around looking busy) were desperate to leave and get to whatever parties they had planned. Each and every one of them conned the manager into cutting the floor before eight o'clock and most of them skipped out on their sidework and doing their tables. The result was that our usual dinner rush started as they were all leaving because everyone was coming in after trick or treating ended. The three of us left on the floor ended up doing all of their sidework and cleaning their tables and leaving well after close.

- I could have left a little earlier had it not been for the woman and her mother who came in ten minutes before close and ordered milkshakes (which I had to make since the prep person was long gone) and then did not even order until after ten. And then they stayed another hour. Forcing me to hang around an extra hour. On Halloween.

- One of the guests came in dressed as Abraham Lincoln. Pretty random. And slightly dangerous, I'd think, here in the capital of the Confederacy. When the manager came back to tell us that Abe was in the diningroom, he also announced that he was going to go to the table and thank the man for freeing him from slavery. The manager didn't actually do it (that would have been great), but he did spend the rest of the night doing his best Butterfly McQueen impersonation and pretending to talk to Abe by saying things like, "Thank you, Mr. Lincoln. Without you, my ass would still be living on the plantation!"

- My son and some of his classmates have sent a complaint to the principal about one of their teachers. They told me all of the teachers swear in class (WTF?) and that several of them make threats of violence to students. The one in particular they're complaing about just today told a student to "shut up or I'll punch you in the throat."

This deserves a looong entry but I want to confirm it and get the details straight (and call the school myself) before I rant too much.

Well, that's it. Nothing exciting. Have a great weekend!