Buildup

I'm hating the pills.

I despise this medication. Imposed medication. Just medication. Whatever. Unimportant. Which is exactly why I hate this medication.

Only now I have forgotten that reason. I sit, stare at the blinking cursor, trying for my next thought, willing the words to pop into being, like a tiny universe being born. But as it has been lately, it is all gaseous buildup and no explosion - just a whole bunch of excited molecules with no place to go . . .

and i even lost track of that mother-fucking thought . . .