I’m watching an old episode of will and grace which got me thinking about my mom somehow. Hmm. No idea. I want to free write and was going to lament how I couldn’t but quickly backed away from that bullshit I need to just do it I have nothing else going on and I need to say something maybe the freewriting isn’t helping because I spend all of it telling myself what it is I need to do instead of just doing it but then I am just doing the same shit in my head if I’m not writing it down so I guess at least I am writing it maybe maybe that is okay maybe I am just making excuses for myself I definitely can’t type I want to drive again.
I need to pay off the last of my fines and get a car and drive again. I miss it so much.
I need a drive out in the country. An aimless drive to the bounds of my familiarity and comfort. Wandering. Without worry for time or responsibility or obligation. And when I find my destination, I will know it. I will pull over and get out and lean against the front of my truck and look out over everything and just be at peace again, having found the purpose of my drive, and knowing I am free to ramble down the road whenever I want to, and even to roam completely off the path.
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